Whenever we get sick, we go to the doctor, right? But what do we do for our broken or struggling relationships? Where do we go for help when getting intimate becomes a problem? To a sex coach! A sex coach will help you address any issues related to sex and sexuality.
Many of us transition from childhood to adulthood without ever experiencing successful and healthy sexual relationships. Therefore, some people might not understand important sexual concepts such as how to pleasure their partners and sometimes even themselves.
Sex coaching isn’t just for when something is wrong. It’s perfect for couples who strive for a more meaningful and connected union. It’s also great for individuals who would love to learn to embrace their sexuality.
Keep reading to find out what a sex coach does and how it can benefit you and your relationships.
What Is Sex Coaching?
A sex coach is a licensed professional who aids clients in difficulties involving sex, relationships, and intimacy. They help them get to the root of these sexual dysfunctions and guide them to embrace their sexuality. They address both sex and relationship issues.
Sex coaches use their knowledge in human sexuality to guide clients experiencing sexual problems towards a solution. They sometimes even give them homework, a practice called Love work. Clients are given assignments such as exploring their bodies to locate their erogenous zones.
There are sex coaches who prefer a more hands-on approach, The Somatica Method, compared to education and resources. Sex coaching is a holistic process that involves physical, mental, sexual, and other aspects so that clients thrive in all areas.
A sex coach can sometimes refer the client to an intimacy coach. An intimacy coach helps clients feel more connected and closer to their sexual partners. They help them address and find solutions to challenges with the various types of intimacy. These are,
- physical intimacy
- sexual intimacy
- emotional intimacy
Approaches In Sex Coaching
- Talk-oriented
Talk-based sex therapy allows the client to share various sex-related problems they may be struggling with. The coach might even give out homework for the person to do with their partner. They typically don’t encourage physical contact with their patient beyond hugging or the usual handshake. That’s not to say that these coaches aren’t supportive, of course.
- Experiential
This is a more hands-on approach and allows physical contact. The coach will prescribe exercises designed to help the patient become more comfortable with their body and sexuality. The first session might begin with a bit of talk, like in talk-based coaching.
They do this to get a general overview of the goals for the exercise. Experiential sex coaching teaches the individual how to touch themselves and others as well. It’s a valuable opportunity to get a deeper insight into a person’s emotional needs.
- Somatica Method
The Somatica Method is an approach in sex coaching that guides people towards moving past shame, setting and enforcing boundaries, and creating deeper connections with their partners and themselves. Clients experience healthier and more wholesome, and genuine relationships and enjoy intimacy, sex, and love better than before.
The Somatica Method is the brainchild of the Somatica Institute and is among the preferred option by sex and relationship therapists. The institute offers comprehensive classes where one can learn the skills necessary for success in relationships.
Here’s a brief overview of the fundamentals of the Somatica Method:
Three core attitudes:
- Vulnerability
- Mindfulness
- Compassion
The Primary principles:
- Embodiment
- Sexuality
- Relationships
What To Expect From A Sex Coaching Session
The first session with a sex coach is to build a rapport between the professional and the client. Here, the therapist enquires about your concerns, your goals for the sessions, and possible solutions. They will want to know about your childhood, upbringing, how it was like growing up, and the like.
This information sheds more light on the current concerns and helps the therapist get to the root of the problem. They’ll want to know about your dating history and the challenges that may have contributed to their end. All this will be done in a private environment to ensure discretion.
Qualities Of A Good Sex Coach
A good sex coach is discrete, ensuring whatever you say stays between the two of you. They are also compassionate and show empathy in situations that call for it. A good sex coach is non-judgemental – they won’t shame or criticize you for any wrong choices.
Other qualities include:
- Efficient communication skills
- Empathetic
- Creative
- Great at listening
- Open-minded
- Impartial
- Enthusiastic
How Does Sex Coaching Impact Your Sex Life?
Confidence
Love and relationships require a tremendous amount of confidence. Sex therapy works to rebuild and boost confidence in clients who experience such challenges. Sex coaching teaches self-acceptance and instills a sense of empowerment over one’s body. It helps the person embrace their sexual potential.
Adds Excitement To The Bedroom
Sex therapy is highly beneficial to couples as it guides them towards sexual exploration. A sex coach teaches them how to let go of any shame or fears and embrace their pleasure. They teach pleasure skills, both giving and receiving.
Improves Your Relationship With Yourself
This perhaps might be the primary benefit of the practice. By guiding the person towards healing from attachment wounds and releasing shame, sex therapy ultimately helps them relate better with themselves.
They become more compassionate with themselves, growing their emotional awareness as a result. You get to identify and understand your body, its needs and enjoy self-pleasure.
The Difference Between A Sex Coach And A Sex Therapist
While both a sex therapist and a sex coach are professionals, there’s a clear distinction between them – a sex therapist is a licensed and certified professional. They typically have vast experience in topics centered around sex and sexuality.
A sex therapist is also recognized by the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors, and Therapists ( ASSECT), although it isn’t a requirement.
They help clients explore their pasts, specifically their childhood, to heal wounds through various therapeutic interventions.
Sex therapy does not involve any nudity or touch as it is strictly talking therapy. On the other hand, a sex coach helps clients deal with any sexual issues they might have. Sessions with a sex coach involve delving into their past experiences, which they’ll use in their treatment plan.
Sex coaching requires time and experience in the field before the individual can be viewed as a generalist. It sometimes involves nudity and physical touching, depending on the client’s level of comfort. They’re also recognized by ASSECT and the World Association of Sex Coaches (WASC).
Who Is A Sex Surrogate?
Sexual surrogacy involves the therapist, the patient, and the sex surrogate. A sex therapist might recommend a surrogate partner for patients who suffer from:
- Extreme inhibition
- Body dysmorphia
- Physical disability
- Vaginismus
- Erectile dysfunction
- Sexual trauma
Sex surrogates help these individuals become comfortable with physical contact and intimacy. The sex therapist is active throughout the process.
What Is Intimacy Coaching?
Intimacy coaches guide the individual towards cultivating a sense of safety that they may have never gotten as a child. The main objective of intimacy coaching is to help them develop a more profound understanding of comfort, heal any attachment wounds, and increase their emotional intelligence and awareness.
An intimacy coach will offer support and connection by listening to you and learning your needs. Unfortunately, some of our life experiences affect our ability to be vulnerable and connect with others.
This is where an intimacy coach comes in. They help you become in tune with your body through breathwork and other therapeutic interventions. They might also recommend cuddle therapy, where you practice cuddling and physical contact in a safe environment and with a trusted professional.
What Does A Relationship Coach Do?
A relationship coach helps couples and single people (see ‘Relationship Counseling for Singles‘) learn essential skills on how to forge successful relationships. They teach communication skills designed to settle conflicts respectfully and compassionately.
Besides communication, relationship coaches also work on improving the intimacy between couples. They encourage vulnerability and help them learn their partners’ needs and desires.
Benefits Of Sex Coaching
Sex therapy:
- It helps you become more connected with yourself
- It instills and sharpens your pleasure skills – in both receiving and giving
- To find solutions to sexual dysfunctions such as low libido
- Teaches boundary setting and enforcement
- It helps couples become comfortable with sexual experimentation for a happier marriage
- It helps individuals heal from guilt and shame
- Teaches body acceptance
- It improves a couple’s intimacy and connection, both physically and emotionally.
- Sex coaches also teach dating skills.
How Do I Find The Best Professional Sex Coach For Me?
You should first try the ASSECT since they oversee training and certification for sexual health providers. They have a great database where you can locate a therapist tailored to your needs.
Besides ASSECT, the internet is also a goldmine for information on locating an expert sex coach. You can also try Psychology Today. Hospitals and health centers are also great places where you can find a licensed therapist. Insurance companies also provide valuable information on requests.
For more accurate results, consult with your health provider for recommendations on the most available therapists. Lastly, ask your friends for referrals. They can recommend a professional you’ll feel comfortable; talking to.
Conclusion
Sex coaching is perfect for couples looking to add a bit of excitement to their marriage without visiting a marriage counselor. It’s also suitable for individuals who would like to explore their sexuality.
Besides growing intimacy and body acceptance, working with a sex coach also:
- It helps individuals connect more with themselves and become comfortable with sexual experimentation
- It grows your pleasure skills
- It helps you to find solutions for sexual disorders
- Provides healing for individuals who struggle with shame and guilt